At ASAC we always stress that you should never go diving alone. If you have equipment problems, your buddy can help you. If you run out of air, your buddy can help you. If you meet an aggressive shark, your odds are 50-50 instead of 100%. - p.s. that is a genuine club picture of a grey nurse.

I was diving with Noel (sorry Noel) and he asked what would I do if I met a Great White.  I would swim, I replied.  But you cannot out swim a great white he said - Yes, I know, but I can out-swim you!

On my last dive I carried a large knife - my buddy asked me what was it for - I replied "in case we are attacked by a shark" - "if a shark comes along I stab you and swim like hell!"

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Dive planning at ASAC - Plan the dive (at some stage) and dive the plan!

Hi Robin (checking the dive plan).

 

 

Dive Leader - Question 1. You are in a dive boat and one of the divers, a solicitor, falls in the sea. What do you throw him for him to hold onto?

An anvil!

Two strangers, a male diver and a woman, are sitting next to each other on a flight.  Suddenly they hear a bang, an engine falls off, and the airplane goes into a spin.  In a panic the woman tears off her blouse and cries "make me feel like a woman for one last time".  Rising to the occasion, the diver tears off his shirt and says, "OK, iron this."

Diver comes home at midnight, exhausted after a long day traveling to a dive site, looking for the wreck, waiting for everyone to get their dive, and traveling home.  He's just about to fall asleep when his wife rolls over and says "What would you do if I told you that you had a beautiful sexy woman lying next to you?"
    He replied: "Don't worry, darling, I'd stay faithful."

Diver asks a forlorn seahorse, "Why the long face"?   

Two fish in a tank.  One says to the other: "Can you drive this thing"

Words of Wisdom
    Never argue with an idiot.  They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience!

    Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.